Resident Retarded 2: Evolution Revolution
by Darth Stryph
Summary: About a girl with no common sense with powers beyond understanding within a game of the dead.
1. Chapter 13: Hidden Connections

**Chapter 13: Hidden Connections**

Four days ago _(before Ebony fell off the helicopter)_...

"What's going on?" the young man said in response to his new surroundings. He woke up on a small building in a large city. "Where am I?" he questioned, his eyebrow raised as confusion swept over his face. He slowly stood up and looked over the edge of the roof to where, to his surprise, he was looking into New York city. "Oh, my God..."

Because he was on the roof, he ran down a set of stairs to the bottom of the building. He quickly found his way out and looked to the front of the building. "No, no, no, no, no..." The name of the new and advanced, high tech weapon facility building was, Parody _(review Chapter 3: The Ultimate Gaming Experience)_...

"My nightmare visions came true! I'm in Resident Evil 4!"

He began to weep. He never thought his visions would actually come true. He's been seeing them for years...in his dreams. The only reason he knew that his visions were visions was because his dreams and visions felt different from each other. His visions would turn his dreams into nightmares. They were full of greed, betrayal, destruction, but most of all, corruption. He knew that his heart would be in danger, and also, his soul and sanity. Fear overwhelmed him, for there's nothing like knowing what your own future has in store for you, especially if its a destiny you've feared your whole life.

"I can feel the power of the game flowing through me. This unnatural force..." He began to smile. "The power," he began, "...need more... No!" His body began to shake as if he had chills. "Need to stay _me_, the _real_ me!" His eyes glazed over grey. "No, starting to lose myself!"

As the dark power flowed through him, objects began to lift off the ground. The dusty air swirled around him, growing larger, expanding as his power grew to extremely dangerous levels. Parody's perfectly flawless structure began to crack and weaken in response to the power the young man emitted. It's flawless dimensions were destroyed.

An old woman approached him as he finally gained control of the villianous potential of corruption. He was finally free to be himself once more. As the dust cleared, he saw her walking through it as if it where fog in the night. She wore an old black cloak with the hood of it shrouding her entire head and face. Her hands were very old and wrinkley with many veins surfaced around the back of them. And she held a brown wooden cane of which she used to support her balance. She sounded like she was chanting something as she aproached, but the young man couldn't make it out.

She finally came to a stop in front of him and observed the new stranger. The young man wore a sexy black suit accompanied by a chain around his neck with two crosses and a dragon. It was obvious that these items meant a great deal to him, for they wouldn't be there if they weren't. He was of african american descent with a slender build, brown skin and curly hair. Instead of him wearing black dress shoes with his suit, he wore pitch black boots that looked like they've been through alot. He also wore black leather gloves on his hands that emitted small currents of black electricity. She looked to his face and noticed his glazed grey eyes clear to reveal mysteriously seductive red rimmed halos around his black pupils.

"What shall we call you good sir?" the old woman asked.

"Who are you?" the young man interrupted.

"My name is Jasmine Ola _(review Chapter 11: The Seed of Evil)_, but you shall call me, Vague." She watched as his cautious mind stored the slight bit of information. She noticed the tension in his eyes, as if he had already known her. "Where are you from?" she asked.

"I'm not from around here," he answered untrustingly.

"I see. You royalty where you're from?" she said eyeballing and pointing at his suit.

"No," he replied as he glanced down at his clothes. He then looked back at her and said with worried frown, "Just special..."

The ancient woman smiled under her cloak. She lifted her wrinkled hand and took his from its particular point in space and said, "Come Boy, there's a reason why I came for you."

They left the area from which the mysterious, important young man came and headed towards a village of which can only be assumed to be hers. The village stunk of rotting meat and of the people who lived with it. The stench of village was almost unbearable. The young man saw dead bodies on iron spikes and huts made from the skin of a certain animal. He couldn't recognize from which kind of animal the skin originated. In the middle of the village, there laid a huge fire. This fire was summed to be the source of the foul smell and eventually, in secrecy, he found out why. She lead him to a specific hut and said, "Step in here, Will. We've been awaiting your arrival for a very long time..."

The young man's eyes opened widely. "How you know my name?" His eyes had shown much concern. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"All will be explained shortly, Will," she said as she rose her aged hand to point Will in the direction of the hut's entrance. "All will be explained shortly..."

As Will entered, his finger nails began to grow rapidly fast and ripped through his gloves. He hid them from plain view, but as he did, the old woman smiled underneath her dark cloak.

_"The Viruses have finally arrived. It is up to me to nourish them...help them grow."_

Because the inside of the hut had no fire to light it up, it was very dark. This was very eerie, because outside was very clear and sunny.

"Now, I know who you are!" Will said aloud as he turned around to look back at her, "I've seen you in my visions!"

"Yes...yes, you have," she responded with a whispering tone, "As I've seen you in mine."

"No...no... In my vision, you're the one who hinted me to a very destructive destiny! You turned me EVIL!" Will's veins began to flood with blood, making them rise as his anger did. The ground began to shake and the weather outside began to change. "You tricked me!"

She said one word that he instantly regretted, "Abyss."

The floor underneath him had quickly vanished and he fell into a deep and infinite abyss. In the abyss, there was nothing but evil, unpure energy and when Will fell in, all the evil chaotic energy had been absorbed into him. Eventually, with the abyss being pure evil, he would soon absorb that as well and would be free again. When he comes out, he won't be Will anymore...he will be a plague to all that exists in the game, he'll be...Virus.

Jasmine Ola walked out of the hut and watched the beautiful blue sky turn into a destructive red and black storm; black lightning flashed and the blood filled rain began to flood the village. Jasmine smiled and thought to herself, _"One Virus nourished. Two more to go..."_ She laughed an ungodly laugh because of her selfish success.

She retreated from her village into the black omened forest. It was from there where she had seen her next target in a helicopter that had been struck by black lightning. Jasmine's eyes began to glow a cold white as she grinned at the falling helicopter. She then said the name of her next target, _"...Kayla..."_

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A/N**: From now on, I will no longer post anymore of my Story Chapters up until I get reviews for the ones previously posted.

Thank you...

**Darkpsyde**.


	2. Chapter 12: She's Back

**Chapter 12: She's Back**

Present Day…

Ebony's hair had turned from light brown to blonde; her eyes from brown to green. The coding for her clothes changed as well and suddenly her clothes phenomenally morphed till she was wearing a long and slender black leather outfit. It was smooth and reflected the red of the sky. Ebony slowly lifted herself off the ground and slowly pulled the stake from her heart. The bathroom they were cased in vanished, revealing the dark night, eclipsed moon, and the never ending red storm. She quickly turned towards J-Rek and DevilChild and gazed them down with eyes of revenge and threat. The bloody stake in her hand deleted and a pitch black katana with a glowing blood red aura shining around it was in its place.

"Ebony?" asked J-Rek.  
"You're not a vampire?" questioned DevilChild.

Ebony ran faster than the eye can see and grabbed J-Rek by the neck, lifting him off his feet. As his feet dangled, his brother watched in horror as the very girl they are supposed to protect used her mental abilities to change the landscape to where his brother was now dangling over a cliff.

"Ebony's sleeping," she replied, "I'm Ivory."


	3. Chapter 11: The Seed of Evil

**Chapter 11: The Seed of Evil**

_Written in a playish format_

1 Kayla  
2 The Ancient Prophet (Old Lady)  
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1- (Wakes up in black forest to where she sees a darkly crippled old woman standing in front of her) Gasp! Who are you?

2- I am the one who shall hint you to your destiny...

1- (Observes her surroundings then returns her stare back on the woman) What Destiny?

2- The Destiny you aren't ready for yet. The Destiny I hope you do not choose...

1- Wait, who are you?

2- I am an oracle, the Prophet of a place long gone now. A place broken by doubt and destroyed by an envious little girl...and reaped by the nightmaric dreams of a simmular boy; viruses amongst our people...

1- (Pauses as she absorbs the new information)

2- Kayla, there's something wrong with your sister.

1- Gasp! There's something wrong with Kiara?!

2- No, your other sister, Ebony...

1- Ebony isn't my sister; she's my Aunt!

2- Oh...whatever. There's something wrong with her. Her heart plagues her soul. The demon from within her has been unleashed. For now, it's at bay, but if it's unleashed again, the future of both worlds will crumble and will lie in the hands of her and two others. Kayla...your importance lies with Envy...

When the time comes, Kayla, ask yourself this: How long can one fight the darkness, before one embraces it...?


	4. Chapter 10: The Black Sand

**Chapter 10: The Black Sand **

The darkened sky had been filled with black smoke and brightened with the exploding thunder and flames of the chaotic ruin. Everything had gone wrong and Kiara's mind began to race. Kiara could hear the moans of the undead dead not too far behind and Kayla's body was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until she looked down over a mutilated Tim that she noticed something very unnatural about the ground.

"Black sand? This isn't Kansas? Where are we?" She looks at Tim as her brown eyes turn red in reflection to the blood filled ocean above. "Tim, look at the sand...It's black..."

She stares into the dark omened forest, and then a cold chill trickles down her spine.

"I know this feeling...every time I come home from school; this very same feeling embraces me... Ebony's alive."

Kiara soon begins to notice the air is filled with silence and her fear begins to emerge.

"Tim?" Sweat begins to erupt from the tiny pores of her smooth, brown skin as she slowly looks back down at Tim. "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Tim!!!"

Tim is dead.


	5. Chapter 9: No Way Out

**Chapter 9: No Way Out... **

_Summary_  
As Ebony blackens out for the emergence of Ivory, another twist of fate churns. Leon and the others have traveled through all of the known regions of Resident Evil 4 and have found no way of getting out. Kayla, Tim and Kiara all are home sick and are feeling so down that they actually miss Ebony and often wonder if she's still alive... Leon wonders what life outside of the game is like and decides to go with them when the time comes. As nightfall shrouds the sky, they had no choice but to land the helicopter on a high mountain, far enough where no zombies can reach them...or is it...?

(Continuence of Chapter 5)

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Four days ago...

The chaotic red sky looked as if a sea of thick dark blood...and because of this, the ocean looked no different. The loud crackles of lighting struck continuously throughout the land along with its devestating thunder... The tsunami waves of the ocean tumble and crack among another...and the smell of the air is of rotten flesh... Yet on the flip side, Ebony is gone and everyone is safe...for the moment...

"That was the wierdest thing I every saw!" said Tim with the stinch of blood still on his ripped clothes. The blood was stained and never was going to come off. "I'm glad she's gone now... She was a freak of nature..."

Kayla and Kiara were still fatigued and flying the army helicopter that they stole from a psycho general. He was bitten and needed to be executed...(long story).

Apart from being completely lost, they were all still in shock of what Ebony had done...

"I still don't understand..." Leon stated. "She was just an idiot..." Leon's mind became a valley of confusion. "There's absolutely no way that she could have all that power..."

"She must have done something to herself to get all that power..." Tim added as he took off what was left of his shirt. "Those damn zombies they ripped my only shirt... I don't have any other clothes..." Tim looked at Leon as if he should care...he didn't... "Hey, Leon, say something..."

Leon didn't say a word and just stared out of the opened doors of the helicopter.

"Be careful, Leon. Don't fall..." Kiara warned as she handed the control over the helicopter to Kayla and turned around to check on everyone. 

Leon looks at her with sorrow and a heavy-heart. His thick eye brows were lowered and were motionless on his face. It looked as if he were holding back tears... "Kiara...have I done the right thing...?"

Kiara looked at him... She couldn't answer...

"You did the right thing..." Tim answered for her. He looks at Kiara for approval; she gave none.

"I miss Ebony..." Kayla mutters as her eyes begins to water. 

Kiara looks at her...and then turns to Leon...

"She was family..." she utters as she too begins to develope watery eyes.

"I'm sorry, Leon, but I'm starting to miss her, too..." Tim admits as he stands up and tries to comfort Kiara.

All Leon could do, was to look out of the doorless chopper, and let the tears of sorrow run down his face...

(Kiara is very beautiful with her light brown skin, brown eyes and short, brown hair. She is also the niece of Ebony.

Tim is Kiara's boyfriend who feels as if he isn't getting enough attention from her, but because he is loyal, and doesn't have to be by himself anymore , he stays with her... He's very handsome and has a very athletic build. Not too much on the smart side though... 

Kayla is Kiara's little sister and also a niece of Ebony. She has light green eyes, with long, brown hair that reaches to her elbows. She is not as smart as her sister but is smarter than Tim. Though she is always there, the rest of the group sometimes lose track of her because she is so quiet... She also is jealous of her sister because she's older, smarter, and has a boyfriend...)

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Leon's Mind and Thoughts: Ebony was a threat... I don't even understand why I'm feeling this way over...her... I must keep my mind off of Ebony... Otherwise I'll go crazy... Hmph...family...yeah-right...like Ebony's related to them... (Leon instantly regreted what he had thought, and a surge of sorrow followed; he quickly changed subjects to think about...)

I wonder what life outside of this...game, is like. They said that in their world, there's no such thing as zombies...the only thing even close to zombies is a disease called, rabies...

How do I convince them that I don't want to be here? How do I convince them to take me with them...? How would I say it so they won't think that I'm like everyone else we've fought... sigh I'll talk to them...when the time comes...  
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As the sky shrouds to darkness, Leon notices they are in uncharted territory...

"We aren't supposed to be here..." Leon says to himself as he prepares to inform the rest of the group. "We aren't supposed to be here!"

"Why?" Kiara questions, distracted by his unexpected tone of voice.

The tone of Leons voiced demanded that they listen.

"We need to leave this place..." Leon stuttered with fear and tenshion stirring in his throat. "We're in uncharted territory, and I don't know this place," he explained. "...which makes us vulnerable... Turn around Now." His voice is stern and they dared not to defy him...or they might pay with their lives...

Kiara and Kayla turned the helicopter around, headed towards known regions...until a black bolt of dark lightning from the darkened red storm above them struck their chopper...

As the helicopter twirled and swirled clockwise, towards the blackened earth, Kayla grabbed the walkie-talkie radio in front of her and shouted, "May-day, may-day! This is a four-one-niner! May-day, may-day! I repeat, I repeat, four-one-niner, may-day!" Kiara looks at her sister in complete shock.

"Kayla! What are you doing?!" Kayla looks at her sister with a panicky confusion.

"I'm calling for help on the walkie-talkie!" Kiara slaps her up-side her head.

"That 'walkie-talkie' ain't a walkie-talkie! That's a rock!" Kayla looks at her sister with even more confusion. _That's not a rock. Has my sister gone insane?_ Everybody was looking at her like **she** had problems.

"We've got no time for jokes, Kayla, we have to land this--"

CRASH!

The helicopter landed on a high mountain. Out of reach of any zombie. Though a little shaken, everyone was alright. Kiara asked if everyone was o.k.

"Is everyone o.k.?" Her voice is engulfed with fear for everyone. Then she noticed...

"Kayla?! Where's Kayla!!! Kayla!!!!!"


	6. Chapter 8: Hidden Essence

**Chapter 8: Hidden Essence **

_Summary_

Ebony walks into the bathroom only to find out that she has…a split personality! Her double explains to her that SHE needs to defeat the NEW boss of the game for her to get her own body, but then she realizes…Ebony is an idiot.

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"You saved them Ebony… All of your emotions at the very second you saw Leon get bitten (in Chapter 5: Leon's Betrayal) created me… I'm you Ebony… I'm an alternate version of you… I'm Ivory…"

"Ivory?"

"Yes, Ivory… Every blackout you can remember since then was me... I was the one who saved your friends on the helicopter…since then, I've been developing a new way to create me a new body…but for every new cheat code there comes a price… For me to receive a new body, YOU need to beat the boss of the game…"

"But, we already beat the boss of the game (Resident Retarded 1)… Didn't we? I think we did… Curse my short term memory…"

"Yes…you did beat the boss of the game but the game is corrupt with a virus… Do you understand?"

"Not really… I still don't understand why I'm talking to a mirror."

"Oh…I guess I overestimated how…smart you are…"

"Well, not everyone can reach my level of smartness."

"I agree…"

"Before we leave, can you tell me what happened during my first blackout?"

"I won't tell you…you're not ready yet… When you're ready I'll tell you…"

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't."

"Don't what?"

"Understand."

"Understand what?"

"What I told you…"

"What did you tell me?"

"…"

"…"

"Sigh I'm doomed…" Ivory thought to herself.

"Why am I talking to a mirror?!"

"Goodbye, Ebony… Until next time…"

"Wait! What about my bag of chips?!"

Her hidden essence was gone. All she saw was her reflection in the mirror. She began to talk to her reflection as if it were Ivory, asking it questions until her reflection in the mirror got tired of her and walked away. Ebony turned around to see DevilChild and J-Rek standing right in front of her…

"Oh, hi guys!"

J-Rek looked at his brother in complete shock from looking in the mirror behind Ebony…

"Do you see what I don't see…?" asked J-Rek.

"No…" answered DevilChild in shock.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" shouted Ebony as J-Rek stabbed her with a wooded stake. All Ebony could do was lay there in pain as she blackened-out…


	7. Chapter 7: Discovery in One's self

**Chapter 7: Discovery in One's self...**

_Summary_  
J-Rek opens the door only to find Ebony being absorbed by the devious, tormentor Venage, cleverly disguised as Leon. Fooled by the trick, Ebony must choose...J-Rek or the love of her life...Leon... More importantly, Ebony finds something about herself that will change her lives forever...

_Written in a playish format/ May be changed..._

1 J-Rek  
2 Ebony  
3 Venage/ "Leon"   
4 DevilChild   
2.5 The Mysterious Voice...  
2.55 ?Ebony?

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1- Ebony, run!!!

2- Why?

3- Don't leave me...please...

1- _(J-Rek's arm turned into a mechanical looking mini-gun reddened by stains of Blood from frequent use)_ Ebony, run! That's Venage! He's almost as dangerous as me! Get yo ass up! He's absorbing you!

2- _(Ebony was unable to break her emotional bond with "Leon" and because of this she stayed...) ..._

3- "Excellent..." he praised. "Now she's mine!"

1- Never!!! _(aiming his Bio-mini-gun at Venage)_

3- _(A long, black goo tentacle came out of "Leon's" chest and shot at J-Rek's direction. It moved so quickly that he didn't have any chance to defend against it, in cosequence, he became pinned to the wall with his armed weapon aimed to the floor)_ You and your brother have been thorns in my side for long enough! Now! Finally! **I**, Venage, have the key to the Game Shark!!! 

1- No... _(Struggling to break free)_ All you got is a garentee that when I break out of this I'm going ta kick yo ass!!!

2- _(In Ebony's mind it only looked as if Leon was holding her hand, but in reality, he was absorbing her to the point that only her head was sticking out of his chest. She only could see what she wanted to see and because of this, could not see the truth)_

3- When she's finished downloading into my systems, you and your brother will finally perish along with this pointless fortress!

2- _(As Ebony's world began to darken, she finally began to see the truth...but by then it was too late...) Weak and Tired/ Drained_ You're not Leon... _(Blackened-out)_

3- You're right my idiotic friend... Goodbye, Ebony... Hahahahaha!! 1...2...3 and complete! Now, she has finally downloaded into my systems!

4- _(DevilChild opens the door)_ What's going on in here? You!!!

3- _(Threw J-Rek into his brother before he could attack)_ Raaah!!

1&4- Uooof!

3- Now, I'm finally powersful enough to take-out Virus! Then the game is mine! And also! Now that I **am** the key to the Game Shark, I can finally escape this place and into the real world! Ah-haha! Ah-hahahaha! Ah-haha! Ah-hahahaha! _(Begins to feel an intense surge of pain flow through every nerve of his being)_ Gaah! Eraah! Cough, cough! What's happening to me?!

2.55- _(From within Venage)_ ...Leave...

1&4- Ebony?...

2.55- ...Me...

3- _(Turns into Leon)_ Ebony?!

2.55- ...ALONE!!!!!!!!! _(she shouts as she explodes out of Venage)_

3- _(As he explodes)_ AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

1&4- _(As the two brothers watched in horrific shock of Ebony's re-emergence, they noticed...she looked completely different! She still looked like Ebony but with some differences...)_

1- My God! What did Venage **do** to her in there!

4- What ever he did to her, it changed her for the worst! Her hair isn't light brown anymore; it's pitch black and its floating all over the place!

1- My God, her eyes! I'd rather rip my eyes out then to witness such a soul piercing sight! Good, Jesus! The pain and lonliness she's been through!

4- She's crying but yet she's not... Her eyes are drowning in an ocean of tears which flows down her face like a raging flood... Yet she looks as if she'd been in a war and left her humanity behind...

1- Look! Venage is still alive and is trying to peace himself back together!

3- Good, Lord! (Blood pouring from every pore of his flesh...of what's left of his flesh...) What is she!

2.55- _(Looks at Venage's head and smiles)_ ...Leon... _(Her face quickly changes from smiling to complete consumption of rage from thinking about everything that Leon had ever said to her... Every comment...every order...every insult)_ LEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3- Wait! I'm not Leon!

2.55- YOU BETRAYED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _(Her opened palm quickly points in Venage's direction where, what looked like a blackhole, had formed on her hand)_

3- STOP!! STOP!!! I'M NOT LEON!!!!

2.55- DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _(A gigantic ball of black energy with dark electricity firing around it shot out of her palm)_ Raaaahhhh!!!!!

3- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Venage screamed)

2.55- _(As a result of her vengeful attack, everything within in a 5 mile radius was destroyed...except J-Rek, DevilChild and Ebony...)_

1- _(Climbs out of the rubble)_ Good, God! What the Hell happened?!!!

4- _(Also climbs out of the rubble)_ Cough, cough... I don't know... Where's Ebony?

2- _(5 miles away, Ebony wakes up from a most peaceful sleep. As a matter of fact, the best amount of sleep she'd had in years)_ Wow! I feel fully refreshed and energized. _(Looks around at the tragic destruction)_ Amazing! What happened here? Uh-oh... I need to pee! Where's the nearest bathroom? _(Little did she know, she created a bathroom in her subconscious, which created a bathroom in the game behind her)_ Ah-ha, a bathroom! Hey, it looks like the bathroom at home! Hahaha, Boo-yah! _(She opens the door, enters the bathroom, and closes the door only to find her reflection in the mirror motionless and staring right at her...)_ O.K... Now, I'm really confused...

2.5- Ebony, hi...This my first time meeting you... I have a message for you...

_To be continued..._


	8. Chapter 6: Leon?

**Resident Retarded 2: Evolution Revolution**

**Chapter 6: Leon's Return?**

Ebony woke up inside a brightly lit chamber. Her eyes started to water.

"Leon…(sniff, sniff) I hope you're o.k…."

(She begins to cry)

"Leon…(sniff)…I know deep down inside…how much you hate me…but…each time…no…NO! Leon loves me!"

"You're right... I do love you..."

"Leon!"

The lights turned very dim. She could barely see him. Then, she saw him cluster closer as the lights dimmed to blackness… His body began glowing a white light, just enough for Ebony to see him…and only him…

"I'm here Ebony… I've been waiting for you…"

"Here? Why?"

"Because, I knew that you would be here."

"How'd you get here? How'd I get here?"

"That is something only you can answer…"

"Oh, Leon… (Begins to cry) I've missed you so much…(cries). I even began to doubt our romantic relationship…"

"Uh, Ebony.'

"Yes, my love (sniff, sniff)."

"We never had a relationship."

"No! You're lying!"

"Shhhh… Ebony, it's o.k. We may not have had a relationship in the past, but I'm willing to start one."

"O.k. Leon, (sniff, sniff) though you may still be in denial about our relationship, I guess we should start over anyhow…"

Leon stands over Ebony and stares into the eyes of a lost child, while Ebony stared into his leaf-shaped pupils.

Together they held one another in the darkness and kissed…

**1 Hour Later…**

**J-Rek: **OH, MY GOD!


	9. Chapter 5: Leon's Betrayal

**Resident Retarded 2: Evolution Revolution**

**Chapter 5: Leon's Betrayal**

"We're free, we're free!" Kiara shouted as the helicopter landed on the carnaged earth. "I can't wait til I get home and lay in my own bed again!"

"Me too," responded Tim as he assisted Kiara on to the helicopter.

"Me three!" exclaimed Ebony as she and Leon approached the chopper. She was holding Leon's waist so tight that it was beginning to feel numb.

"Good God... How long must you torment me you insane Bitch!" he scolded. "Get the hell away from me!"

"I love you too, Boo," she answered.

Leon assisted Kayla onto the helicopter.

"Aren't you going to help me onto the helicopter?" Ebony asked Leon.

"Over my dead body!"

"I know you want me."

"To die, yes."

"Leon, your words are to kind."

"To the hiddius, I guess they are."

"Everyone shut-up! I'm trying to fly this thing!" Kayla commanded after everyone boarded. "And Ebony, if you say one more word, I will stick ma foot so far up ya ass ya ain't go'n be able ta sit down fa two weeks.

As the helicopter rose off the carnaged earth, the undead approached too close to the chopper. Some managed to have the brain power to actually hang on to the bottom of the helicopter. Their moans were ungodly, which made it impossible for Kayla to think.

"Get those things off the chopper!" Kayla commanded.

"We're on it," shouted Leon.

"Oh, Leon!" responded Ebony.

Leon completly ignored her and fought the "zombies". Ebony watched as her knight in shining armor fought the enemies at every turn. Though Leon fought with all his might, there were too many of them. The helicopter was too high in the sky to just jump out. They were now over the ocean and inside the helicopter there was overwhelming chaos. Leon's shirt and gear were completly ripped off his body, and he was covered in blood. Ebony watched as her mouth drooled at her shirtless knight.

"Don't just stand there! Help me!" Leon shouted for everyone to hear.

Kayla: "I can't! I'm trying to fly this thing!"

Kiara: "I can't! I'm trying to co-pilot!"

Tim: "I am helping! Now, help me!"

Leon: "Why aren't they attacking Ebony! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The "zombies" began biting at Leon's flesh. Ebony saw this and went into a shocking painic and shouted...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**5 Minutes Later...**

She felt the wind blowing through her hair... She never felt more alive in her life... But then she realized...

"I fell out of the helicopter...

I fell out of the helicopter!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

_For those of you who have waited patiently for my story chapters, I am putting up chapter six. Though it seems like there is no plot to this story, there is. It all will be revealed when the time comes... I am putting up chapter 6 today: September 20, 2006... Thank you... Your gonna love **Chapter (?): Hidden Essence**. It's my favorite chapter... Now without further "ado" (good lord, I don't know how to spell...), I introduce to you **Chapter 6: Leon's Return?** ..._

_P.S._

_Thank you, "**WaterWater Every Where**", for Reviewing and actually liking my humorous story._


	10. Chapter 4: DevilChild and JRek

**Chapter 4: DevilChild and J-Rek**

Ebony dreams of home, **Leon**, **Kayla**, and **Kiara**. She dreamed of how they mistreated her, dreamed of the pain that she never knew she had. She dreamed of her stupid decisions, loss of respect, and lack of friends. Ebony felt a huge pain in her stomach. She quickly realized that this unfamiliar pain was not from hunger, nor from her resent sickness of the stomach flu. It was from loneliness.

Ebony finally woke up with the feeling of loneliness still lingering in her body, but when she opened her eyes, she saw a young man watching her in pity.

"Who, who are you?" Ebony asked with extreme curiosity. "You look human."

"You are the dumbest creature on God's green earth, you know that?" the mystery person insulted.

"You still didn't answer my question," Ebony explained.

"I'm surprised you even smart enough to ask a question," the mystery person insulted again.

The thought and feeling of loneliness combined with the insults of the mystery person made Ebony want to cry, but she held it back. She rose off the ground and stood in the Crane Martial Arts fighting style.

"I'm going to ask one more time, than I'm going ta' kick your ass! Now, who are you?" she threatened.

"Wow… You actually said a complete sentence and also threatened my health. I'm impressed," the Mystery Presence insulted again, for the third time. He had a grin on his face that said "I'm go'n knock da' shit outta dis' girl."

Out of anger and lack of common sense, Ebony tried to jump-kick her tormentor but, as usual, nothing ever truly goes her way…

As Ebony jump-kicked toward him 5 feet away; flying one foot per minute...

"DevilChild, if you don't mind, can you please brutally kill this girl, please? I can't take her anymore," the first mystery person pleaded.

"She aimed her attack in the wrong direction. She's going to miss you by five feet exactly. But she's getting on my nerves too, J-Rek. I won't kill her, we need her. So I'll just give her something to remember..."

DevilChild's eye's matched the color of his skin, red. He had three horns on his forehead. The two on the sides were medium sized but the middle one was huge and was taller than the others. DevilChild never slouched and always stood up straight. His hands were huge, and his fingers had no finger nails, yet they were very pointed and razor-sharp at the tips. DevilChild also had a pair of wings. His rib-cage was doubled allowing the second pair of ribs to burst out of his sides stretching out toward his back. From his ribs, which were by then wing bones, would leak out bone-marrow, which would then form the skin for his wings. This process is very painful for DevilChild, which is why he only uses his wings in extremely dangerous situations.

Ebony was caught by her leg, spun around five times and thrown to the ground with intense force causing a small Earthquake. While on the ground, DevilChild body slammed her with allhis weight. Whenhe got up,he picked up Ebony overhis head, and threw her at a huge tree.

"Good God! The pain!"

"Did I mention to you that I have a brother?" J-Rekresponded. "Oh, I'm sorry, I neva got a chance ta introduce myself. My name is J-Rek, and this Demonic looking fella is my brotha, DevilChild.We only came to you because we need your… DevilChild, you say it. I can't say it to her, I can't."

DevilChild looked at his brother with a face that said "I know you didn't ask me to say it to her". But then looked at Ebony and said, "Help… We need your help…"

But then they soon realized that Ebony was knocked out from the beating. DevilChild and J-Rek looked at each other, sighed, picked her up and took her to a place that she'll never forget….


	11. Chapter 3: Ultimate Gaming Experience

**Chapter 3: The Ultimate Gaming Experience aka. Gameshark**

After the smell faded, the strange presence came back.

"Who's following me? Who's out there! What do want from me?"

She waited for an answer, nobody came, no body answered. The Mystery presence was still there.

"What are you waiting for! What are you waiting for! What are you waiting for! (Repeat this 12 more times)" she shouted spinning in circles.

Eventually, Ebony reached an old abandoned building in ruins. The Building looked as if it could collapse any second. The name of the building was, Parody. After wandering through the building for 20 minutes, she finally made it to the restroom. Ebony could barely move. She's been holding "extra baggage" since she defeated the zombies. She finds an actual usable toilet, one that wasn't: bloody, covered in shit (poo), covered in dried-up pee, digital…etc.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! ERRRRRRRR! AAAAAAAH!" Ebony screamed as she dropped her "extra Baggage".

She sighed in relief.

"I feel 5 pounds lighter," she says huffing and puffing. "Now I can poo."

After she finished, she picked up her extra baggage and walked out of the restroom. In front of the restroom door, she made a left (about 2 feet) and walked out the building.

Ebony inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"Fresh air!" she shouted free from her constipation and the funkiness of the bathroom. Almost immediately after saying "Fresh air", she had been knocked out by something red. She couldn't make-out the creature and soon, lay there on the ground unconscious.

"Pathetic! What a dumbass!"

"True, but she is the key to the gameshark."


	12. Chapter 2: I gotta poo

**Chapter 2: I gotta Poo**

After dancing away from the Zombies into the jungle, she felt a slight disturbance in the force.

"Ohhh, my stomach… Those Zombies aren't the same Zombies we fought before… Where am I?"

She walked until she came back to shore…

"Black sand? I get a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore…I don't remember this being in the game?"

She looked back at the jungle.

"Holy power of Zeus! What happened to New York!"

She was looking into New York City, now in ruins, and taken back by the jungle. Ebony looked over to where the Statue of Liberty should be but it wasn't there.

"Oh, Leon," she said looking across the ocean. "If only you were here to protect me."

Suddenly, she heard zombie moans…

"Uh-oh, more zombies again!"

She turned around and was surrounded again. There was nowhere to run.

"STOP!"

Once again, all the zombies stopped in confusion.

"Uh-oh, no boom-box!" she thought. "That means I gotta use either one of two things:

Either #1. Plan A- My irresistible beauty,

Or #2. Plan B- My Beyonce-like voice."

"Time for Plan A." You could hear the confidence in her voice. The Zombies were still confused.

"Hey, Boys," she said as she posed for them in a "her-version-of-sexy" look.

Zombie #1: "(Aaahhhh! My Eyes!)"

Zombie #2: "(I can't see anymore! I'm blind!)"

Zombie #369: "(Close your eyes! Close your eyes!)"

Ebony could have escaped, but she didn't get the reaction she expected.

"Hey, I don't look that bad..."

Zombie #360: "(Kill her!)"

Ebony's stomach starts to bubble…She gets this weird feeling as if a certain power inside her were trying to unleash itself.

"Oh-no…It is coming….It is coming!"

But then the feeling subsided.

"Oh, just a false alarm."

Unexpectedly, all the Zombies were dropping one by one.

Zombie #1: "(Damn that Lez-lo!)" he stated, then dropped to the ground.

Zombie #2: "(Smells like Big-foot's… ,)" dropped dead.

Zombie #369: "(Plug your noses! Plug your noses!)" but the smell was too strong and soon he fell as well.

Ebony didn't understand at first, but then, she understood.

"It wasn't head-shots with a 9mm or head-shots with gummy worms. I must've had a silencer that slipped through."

Ebony's stomach started hurting continuously.

"I gotta poo…I need to find a toilet…"

Ebony walked into the "New York Jungle", with poopin on her mind. All the while walkin, she felt a strange presence…like…someone was watching her. When she tripped over her own foot, she hit the ground hard and farted. The strange, mystery presence was gone…


	13. Chapter 1: Leon!

**A/N**: Hey, thank you for deciding ta read ma story. Dis ma first fanfic. Da' name's Will aka. _Lord Apocolypse_. Ebony aka. _IvoryChick08_ is a good friend of mine and kindled ma interest in comedy stories. She told me da endin' of her story, da original "**Resident Retarded**", and I got so excited about it I asked her if I can write part two. I also write horror/gore stories. So, after I'm done posting up chapters "1-?", I'll post up some of ma stories. (Look for: **Destination Armageddon & Son of the Dark Phoenix**) **Warning**: **1**. When u laugh, remember ta breathe, othawise yo laugh of joy can just as easily be yo laugh of death. **2**. Always be prepared fo' da next chapter. Good-luck!

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**Resident Retarded 2: Evolution Revolution**

Chapter 1: Leon!

She felt the wind blowing through her hair. She never felt more alive in her life. But then, she realized…

"I'm falling out of the helicopter…

I'm falling out of the helicopter!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Leon, help me! Please! We'll get married and have plenty of children together! Help!"

But Leon couldn't help her, not that he wanted to in the first place. He was finally free from her obsession……and her stupidity.

Fortunately for Ebony, her foot had coincidentally wrapped around the rope attached to the helicopter, which swung her diagonally towards the ocean. Instead of falling to her doom, she skid across the ocean like a flat rock, back to shore. Even though she was unconscious, all she could think about was her one "true love", Leon.

Night fall came and Ebony woke up.

"Leon!" she shouted as she suddenly awoken. "Leon….Oh, shit…"

She was talking in her sleep which had attracted Zombies. She was surrounded, there was nowhere to escape.

"Damn that Less-lo," she whispered to herself.

The Zombies were coming in closer, and closer, and closer until…

"STOP!"

The Zombies all stopped in confusion. Ebony pulled out a boom-box from up-under the sand. She dug in her pocket and pulled out her Michael Jackson CD. The next thing you now, she's dancing to…

"THRILLA! In the night! And No one's gonna save yah when the beast's about ta strike! It's a THRILLA!...etc."

The Zombies started feeling the beat. Theirs shoulders started to move to the beat. Uncontrollably, the Zombies began to dance the "Thriller Dance".

Scared and amazed that her plan worked without Leon coming to save her, she danced away into the jungle.


End file.
